Based on products I’ve recently purchased, Amazon apparently thinks I might be interested in the following:

• A tin of wood varnish
• Nasal hair trimmers
• A bulk supply of loo roll
• Some moccasin slippers

Well, algorithm fail. I’m not.

But it did get me thinking. Am I a ‘type’ of person? Would a person who likes some of the same things as me be likely to like everything else I like, too? Is it possible to use the word like any more times in one sentence? So many questions.

I only really like two main categories of thing. Living things (for which we’ll use ponies as the representative group), and pretty things (for which we’ll use nails). I decided to conduct a quick survey. Several completely scientifically robust conversations later, and the findings were pretty conclusive.

Pony people do not generally have much interest in sparkly nails. Nail salons are definitely not full of people who spend much time in muddy fields shovelling poo. However. Those few people who do share both my love of ponies and my love of sparkly nails also share a love of a third thing: gloves. So I am a type. Worse, I’m not even a whole type – I’m the combination of subsets of two quite different types. I’m the algorithm fail. Perhaps Amazon could suggest some pretty flowery gloves, with a practical rubberised palm.

No mention, incidentally, in any conversation, of varnish, nasal hair, loo roll or slippers.