If you’ve read any of my blog posts you might have picked up that I do like a bargain. Who doesn’t? Admittedly a freebie is even better, but either one is well worth chasing down in my book. As is any sort of priority treatment. Some of these are somewhat medical in nature, others are not. Although I’m fully convinced of the medicinal properties of free chocolate.

Drugs – free prescriptions from the lovely NHS. Necessary, and brilliant. Plus you get a little credit card thingy to prove it.

Wigs and stuff – again you can ask the nurses and get a prescription to cover or help with costs – and I don’t think they mind which style route you go down – this could be your one opportunity to channel Dolly Parton. Don’t miss it.

Queue jumping – if you’re British this is likely to be an alien concept. But I’ve discovered that sometimes it’s quite nice not to have to wait hours in a queue. A saving is a saving – time is money. Think of all the other things (shopping) you could be doing with that time. If you mention that you’re undergoing treatment for cancer, you will usually be fast tracked. It’s especially good at the GP’s surgery as you can avoid exposure to the germ-hell of the waiting room, but it works in multiple scenarios. Starbucks have been especially accommodating of my urgent medical need for caffeine.

Drinks – sometimes you get thirsty. It’s a basic human need so I’m not sure you should have to shell out hard earned cash to address it. Plus the ridiculous amounts you’re advised to drink during chemo would weigh the equivalent of a baby elephant were you to carry them around with you. Luckily there are plenty of places that offer free tasters of their drinks, which are the ideal way to quench your thirst whilst virtuously sampling a range of wholesome beverages. Holland & Barrett often have a drink of something containing unpronounceable super-supplements on offer, and Boost Juice Bars are perfect for a mini smoothie, presented in the cutest little cup I’ve ever seen.

Chocolate – this needs no explanation. Based on my extensive research, the RDA of chocolate has been miscalculated and we must all address the backlog immediately or face the consequences. Two tips: Montezuma’s and Hotel Chocolat always have free samples available. They rarely act as a money saving technique as they are invariably good enough to make you buy a pack of whatever you’ve sampled, but we’ll ignore that. Secondly, if you ask in any good chocolate shop whether you can try something to see if you like it, they usually agree. The more expensive the chocolate, the more likely they are to agree. Plus if you happen to be bald and look as if your blood sugar levels might be dangerously low…