Auntie Sarah and the Lumpy Booby

Auntie Sarah found she had bit of a funny lumpy booby. Oh dear, thought Auntie Sarah. Boobies are supposed to be round, and smooth, not lumpy. 

Luckily, the nice doctor said he could fix Auntie Sarah’s booby so it would be all better. It would take quite a long time, and she would have to take lots and lots of medicine. But the most important thing, said the doctor, was that she would need some very special magic medicine.

‘Where will I find the very special magic medicine?’ Asked Auntie Sarah.

‘Well’, said the doctor, ‘that is what you will have to find out for yourself.’

The doctor told Auntie Sarah that she would need two kinds of very special magic medicine.

Very special magic medicine number 1: to make Auntie Sarah look like a princess. Princesses do a lot of smiling, so Auntie Sarah would need to do some big smiles. And the medicine from the nice doctor wouldn’t just make Auntie Sarah’s booby all smooth again. It would also do some very funny things. The funniest thing of all, was that Auntie Sarah’s hair would disappear! So she would definitely need some new princess hair until her real hair came back.

Very special magic medicine number 2: to make Auntie Sarah feel like a princess. This was the most important very special magic medicine of all. 

The nice doctor explained that there were only three people in the whole wide world who had the very special magic medicine. Auntie Sarah scratched her head. The whole wide world sounded very big. She just didn’t know where to look first.

Auntie Sarah did a lot of thinking. She asked all her friends if they knew about the magic medicine, but none of them did. She read lots and lots of books. Some of them had stories about magic beans, or magic horses, or magic roundabouts, but none of them had any stories about the magic medicine. She looked on the Internet, and found lots and lots of very strange and interesting stuff there, but none of it was really magic.

Auntie Sarah decided she needed to look somewhere else. She lived in a little pink house by the seaside, so she went down to the beach, and sat down on a stripy blue and white deckchair with a nice big strawberry ice-cream, to think. She thought about all the things that felt like magic. The seaside was really nice, and it definitely made Auntie Sarah feel happy, but it wasn’t really magic. Strawberry ice-cream was very nice indeed, and it did sometimes taste good enough to be magic, but it didn’t really make Auntie Sarah feel like a princess. Running very fast by the seaside made Auntie Sarah feel really happy, but it made her get a bit hot and red in the face, and that definitely didn’t make her look like a princess. Riding her horse made Auntie Sarah feel happy too, but she always got really muddy and that didn’t make her look like a princess either.

Auntie Sarah did a big sigh. This was HARD WORK. She thought about the last time she had sat on the beach, with her two lovely nieces, Niece Ava and Niece Eleanor. She thought about the last time she had had ice-cream, a special minty flavoured one with her lovely niece, Niece Molly. Auntie Sarah felt very lucky to have three such lovely nieces. When she thought about her lovely nieces, Auntie Sarah felt so lucky, she felt like a princess. And because she felt so lucky, she did a big, happy smile, and a seagull flying past stopped to tell her that she looked just like a princess. ‘Thank you’, said Auntie Sarah, ‘I’m sorry I haven’t got time to talk, but I’m afraid I’m too busy working out where to find the magic medicine.’

The seagull squawked, and flew down to perch right on the edge of Auntie Sarah’s deckchair. He smelled a little bit of fish, because he had just had his lunch, but he looked quite friendly, so Auntie Sarah didn’t really mind. It was just that she was so busy thinking. ‘What magic medicine do you need’, asked the seagull? 

‘Well’, explained Auntie Sarah, ‘I need to find two sorts of magic medicine. One is to make me look like a princess, and one is to make me feel like a princess. And that is the most important one of all.’

‘Ah.’ The seagull nodded, wisely. 

Auntie Sarah felt quite excited. ‘Do you know where I can find the magic medicine?’ She asked, hopefully.

The seagull looked surprised. ‘But you must have found it already’, he said. ‘When I flew past, you looked just like a princess. And that must be because you were feeling like a princess.’

Auntie Sarah scratched her head. She had been doing that a lot recently. ‘I suppose you’re right’, she said, ‘but I’m still not really sure what the magic medicine is.’ 

‘Hmmm’ said the seagull, as Auntie Sarah finished the last bit of her ice-cream. It was the really nice bit at the bottom, with chocolate inside the cone. ‘Well, you were eating that ice-cream. Did that make you feel like a princess?’ ‘I thought about that’, said Auntie Sarah. ‘It was very nice, but I don’t think it was that’.

‘Well, what were you thinking about when I flew past? Whatever it was must have been making you do that big, princess smile.’

‘Oh yes!’ Said Auntie Sarah. ‘I was thinking about my three lovely nieces. Niece Ava, Niece Eleanor, and Niece Molly. They make me so happy that I feel like a princess, and when I think about them I do a big, princess smile.’

‘Well that must be it’, said the seagull. ‘Your three lovely nieces must be the magic medicine. They must be the very special magic medicine number 1, and the very special magic medicine number 2.’

Auntie Sarah felt very happy indeed. The seagull was right. She had found the magic medicine. And she didn’t need to look very far after all. ‘Thank you so much’, Auntie Sarah said to the seagull. ‘Would you like a nice donut, or some frozen yoghurt from the pier?’ 

‘Oh, no thank you’, said the seagull, ‘I’m on a diet because of all the chips the tourists have been feeding me!’ And he flew away, flapping his wings and squawking.

Auntie Sarah walked back to her little pink house, and felt very happy indeed. She rang up all her three lovely Nieces, to tell them that they were the very special magic medicine. 

Niece Ava said she could lend Auntie Sarah some of her special princess hair to make her look like a princess. Auntie Sarah was especially excited about the red hair from the Ariel costume.

Niece Eleanor said she could give Auntie Sarah big squeezy hugs to make her feel like a very special princess indeed. Auntie Sarah loved squeezy hugs better than any other kind.

And Niece Molly said she could do special princess dances, and Auntie Sarah could do them with her. Then they could both look and feel like princesses, all day long.

Auntie Sarah went back to see the nice doctor. ‘So,’ he said, ‘have you found your very special magic medicine number 1, and your very special magic medicine number 2?’

‘Oh yes’, said Auntie Sarah, ‘and do you know the funny thing? I thought and thought, and I looked all over the place, but in the end they really weren’t very far away at all!’

The nice doctor nodded, because magic medicine is very often closer than you think. He was very pleased, and he did a big smile. ‘That’s very, very good news indeed’, he said. ‘Because now we have everything we need to make your lumpy booby all better again.’

And that is just what they did.