So a quick update on progress with operation ‘overheard en route to appointments’. 

Other than a few tantalisingly inconclusive snippets, including, ‘…so obviously I was, like, totally mortified’ and ‘then I realised he was only wearing one shoe’, my favourite so far has been the group of sixth form boys discussing someone they had met the night before. After much debate about whether they could remember this (clearly not very memorable) person, the issue was resolved as follows:

‘Oh you know, she was the one from that place.’

‘What place? The one with the tight jeans?’

‘Primark?’

‘No, not the jeans, the girl. You know, that place where those things come from, for breakfast.’

‘Cereal?’

‘What? No. You know, waffles. Where are they from again?’

‘Oh – do you mean Belgium?’

‘Yes! Belgium! Do you remember her?’

‘No.’

So that’s cleared that one up. Still looking out for the vaping dog though. Maybe tomorrow…