Things I thought I saw during my early morning run today:

1. A woman walking a tiny white dog

2. A seagull attacking the tiny white dog

3. A small fire behind the pier

4. A really massive fire on the pier

5. A man swimming naked in the sea

It’s really easy to mistake something for something it’s not at first glance. I’ve been guilty of a bit of that recently, and on the receiving end of some of it, too. It’s particularly easy to mistake someone who’s not ok, for someone who is. Especially when the person who’s not ok is telling you they are ok. You kind of have to notice that they might not be telling the truth first, and then find a way of finding out whether they are, without asking them, because as you’ve already discovered, they’re not going to tell you if they’re not. And it gets even more complicated: they might not even know they’re not ok.

But worse than this, what I realised this week, is that I’m quite often guilty of feeling relieved when someone says they are ok. So, even if I suspect they might not be, I might not probe quite as much as I should. It’s a lot easier for me to pat myself on the back for checking on them, accept that there’s no problem, and move on. Much easier than having to deal with whatever it is that’s making them not ok. Hmmm. Not a great approach.

On the other hand, I’m also guilty of telling people I’m ok when I’m not, and genuinely wanting them to believe me. Because sometimes when you’re not ok, you really do just want to be left alone. And people occasionally asking how you are, even if you’re not going to tell them the truth, can still be a huge help. So maybe I don’t need to beat myself up quite as much about not probing more, but I should probably still be a little less quick to take things at face value. Case in point:

1. A woman walking near a small discarded white carrier bag

2. A seagull swooping down to rummage in the carrier bag for chips or donuts

3. Someone vaping (in closer proximity, the fire did have a strangely fruity aroma)

4. Sunrise

5. Ok, so I was right about that one. This is Brighton.